Sexual confidence is not about how good you are in bed it's more about how comfortable you feel in your body. But feeling comfortable in your body does not always come naturally and is not always that easy to achieve and definitely not all the time. But one thing is for sure, feeling confident and comfortable in your own skin starts with self-love, self-appreciation, and self-acceptance.
But let's get back to sexual confidence for a quick minute. The level of philosophy, theory an intellectual conversation around sexual confidence, sexual wellbeing and sexual growth has exponentially increased and became much less of a taboo (thankfully) in the last few years. And this can only be great news especially for women, who’s bodies are designed to evolve, to create miracles, and to serve us in ways that are profoundly challenging but also astonishing beautiful. I'm not going to jump completely into the psychology of sexual confidence but there is one nugget of knowledge that I find super interesting. This might give you some insight into your own sexual confidence gage no matter your gender, age or sexual preferences.
There is a concept within sexual education regarding to our sex drive or lack of which is fascinating! This concept relates to two things, our sexual accelerators (turn on’s) or sexual brakes (turn off’s). If you naturally have a heavy foot on your sexual accelerator you tend to crave sex and enjoy sex more, you will find small details about your partner exciting and you will have a greater interest in sex generally. Sexual breaks on the other hand can be influenced by internal or external factors. Your sexual breaks can be triggered by stress, the need for protection, trauma, an unsafe environment, and uncomfortable environment or maybe you’re just not feeling it.
We all have a sexual accelerator and a sexual brake, both are important to have and we have different levels of both and this can change throughout our life depending on so many factors.
Regardless of how in tune you feel with your accelerator or brakes that self-confidence piece is what is key. Self-confidence can fuel the accelerator and reinforce self-respect which keeps the brakes at hand incase we need to create safe boundaries. And remember boundaries are sexy!
The great news is essential oils are wonderful both in a sexual situation but equally in a place of self-confidence building. Below I have four recipes that I adore that you can use to spice up your sex life or perfect when you're dedicating time to beautiful self-love and self-care
1) Self-Massage Adornment Recipe
Rose is the definitive oil for self-love with a scent to envelope you in adornment. Jasmine brings an exotic and floral aroma which helps you feel balanced. Grounding patchouli offers a boost to your energy levels while decreasing stress allowing space for you to unwind. Blend all three essential oils in this skin nourishing carrier oils and massage your beautiful body lovingly often.
2) Self-Care Meditation Recipe
Clary sage is a hormonal balancer with the wonderful power to elevate your mood. Deeply aromatic sandalwood brings clarity and a harmonizing feeling tothis blend as bergamot is supportive and infusing a sense of self-acceptance and self-love.
3) Sensual Massage Recipe
Sandalwood and Rose are sensual as well as being natural aphrodisiacs. Ylang ylang increases your sensual energy and helps to encourage connection while the citrusy yet exotic top notes of Yuzu add a brightness to the aromas of this stunning massage oil.
4) Goddess Body Oil Recipe
Wrap your body in aromatically supportive geranium and bright neroli. Bergamot lifts your confidence and reinforces your beauty while jasmines extraordinary scent raises your spirits and reminds you of your goddess power.